i think im tilting write now. im actualy scared of playing and loosing it back. i have been mentaly strong for 2 weeks now, after like i already wrote, long break. when the money goes in, i actualy dont care anymore im aware of variance and i accept it, but im trying to dodge it by not playing and taking long and short breaks betwen games... the last 2-3 days have been frustrating and i have just noticed this. so sick of it. i need to read tendlers book again, and start correcting this form of tilt. i was a huge spew monkey tilt idiot putting chips in the midle like they were jea just chips. but winers tilt, this is something new....

tomorow i will have my first coaching sesson. this will be the first time i have hired somebody to help me out, and i have been playing for a living for almost 5 years now on/off. will see how it will go, cant wait to get crushed and pointed in to the right diection.

im back. if u started to think i stoped with this blog or whatever it is u are all wrong :) greeat results, bad results im sticking to it. its been a intersting week. ive been playing quite alot, but still not enough. i will have to put alot of effort in to it, so that i reach my valume goal for this month- 2-3k turbos on poker stars. thats alot. and its not my primary goal, but its a goal. first goal is making good decisions, playing well! everything else will folow. but the second truth is that with out volume its almost worthelss. if we look at the best players out there, they all play alot, if not tomuch :) they have seen so many situations, they made so many adjustments to difrent players in a 3 month period, that some of us make in a year. and thats whay they are the best, they study and then they practice, practice untill they master it.

So this is it, i started rolling again in poker after a long break from the game. its been frustrating period of my life. alot of personal resons for tilting and even more from not knowing beter! so this is what i learned:

• accept variance, its a part of the game
• ego is useful and dangerous
• u have to have good foundation to lean on it
• before playing, have some preparation

Tendlers book was the nuts and it still is. it has open my eyes. i must admit that i didnt like it at all, reading my life story in it. I literally did everything bad, that was  in that book. im still working on my issues with tilt, but im aware of it, and more importantly im working on fixing it! it will be a long process but there is light in the end of the tunell.

Know To Much, Mastered To Little!!!- thanks to Jared Tendler i know something more about myself

so today i played 36 games, some on 10s, mostly all on 20s and 1 one the 30s. i think i played well. i started slowly, i was still under the influance of my previus bad sessions couple of hours ago on 50s. i 2 tabled at the begining but ivf quickly changed it to 1tabling. i didnt feel comfortable. i know that most of u guys 2 table and some even 6 table, i did it alsow. i played 9 tables of 6max of nl200 16 tabled full ring and where did this take me, nowhere to be honest. so  its 1 tabling from now one untill i feel comfortable and untill i am able more efficiently adjust to my opponents. i know some of you will think/say this is stupid and that 20s are all fishes, but my thinking is that we can beat fishes for a higher roy with more adjusting to their game and not just standard B game. everything is about adjusting and realy thinking about your opponent, taking notes, paying attention and not just reacting.